Journalling, Once Removed

I’ve been journaling in the second person (“You” vs. “I”) for the last seven years. Writing this way helps me be kinder to myself and creates a helpful distance from my emotions, enabling more rational, objective decisions. But why?

Maybe you’re like me, often harsh on yourself. On days when you’ve given your best, you still feel like you weren’t productive enough—that’s how it feels for me most days.

For me, a magical thing happens when I sit down to write about my experiences or feelings in this way: where I would usually criticize myself for an apparent lack of productivity, I suddenly see how much I actually accomplished.

I think that’s because it feels like writing to a friend. I’m much kinder and more compassionate to my friends than to myself, always trying to help them as best I can. I bet you’re the same.

So when they bring up a tough situation, their struggles, or emotions, I show empathy. Then, I try to be helpful, first by listening (read: writing about what happened and how I feel about it), offering comfort (being compassionate to myself), and, when I have something to say, offering advice (reframing my thoughts, giving a rational assessment).

It works remarkably well. But at first, it feels strange and distant to write “you,” as if not to myself. And it sometimes still does, even after seven years.

But it’s worth it: I get to be there for myself, helping me process my thoughts and emotions, make decisions, and set priorities. It’s almost like having a good friend with me, talking me through it.

I think you should try it. Maybe it’ll work for you, too. So next time you write about a tough situation, don’t write to “I.” Be there for that “you” in your life.